3.13.24
new site, wanted a fresh start. id been meaning to start over for a long while, i started to dislike the aesthetics of my first site. i plan on remaining anonymous this time around. through unfortunate circumstances ive realized i need to gain some independence, and i really shouldve been working towards that for some years now. so ive committed to a rough plan for the near future. im a bit excited but i do have this nagging feeling that something will inevitably go wrong. making an effort to ignore it & focus my attention on the good that should come from this. fafsa is hell.. thats all

3.14.24
submitted my application today. i should be hearing back soon from my college & fafsa. the fafsa crisis of 24/25 is insane, not sure how they managed to completely wreck everything the year they were supposed to make improvements. it shouldn't effect me negatively since i won't start classes until the fall, but i do feel for those with upcoming deadlines. headaches are the bane of my existence. ive had one almost everyday for the past 2 weeks. staring at a screen constantly probaby isnt helping on that front. i really need to log off... for a long time i was content with doing nothing with my life. didnt think id ever grow tired of the boredom but here we are. the last few years have been severely unfufilling, i have nothing to show for them. people joke about rotting in their rooms but that has genuinely been my reality for far too long. so much free time to ponder my fixations. its a paralyzing, pitiful existence


"outside it is warm and blue and April"

4.7.24
ive been neglecting the site for a few weeks, i was occupied with other things. but now i have lots to write about. spent a day in tallahassee with my mother, we got a hotel room overlooking the city. i love looking out at all of the lights and people passing by at night. im hopeful that one day ill get an apartment overlooking a big city, with the floor to ceiling windows. lately ive been having a lot of aches and pains, mainly headaches & lower back pain. im in the market for a new mattress, mine shouldve been replaced ages ago. last week i stayed on the beach in jacksonville for a night, one night is never enough. the condo was nice but its too early in the year to get in the water unfortunately. ill add some new photos soon... when i was young i helped my grandmother tend to her tomato plants. so ive decided to start my own garden, but im starting with flowers. i might add some veggies or fruits later on, im excited to see the progression over time